Camping Misadventures
by Snowingroses
Summary: Anderson thought it would be a nice idea to send the preteen members camping with Colonel Cronus and his team. So what kind of trouble do they get into? Will they survive each other? Will Princess survive all the torment? What about the poor bat?


**_PREFACE:_** This has been a story in the making for almost three months. This is our favorite BoTP members as borderline teenagers and sent to train with Red Rangers. All in all everyone gets put through the ringer but it is Princess who suffers the most until she learns to dish it right back out to the boys.

Of course this is a fictional piece of work, and I don't own any characters or copyrights or named products.

I would like to thank the USAF for some of the survival info I used here. Actually it was the piece about what Survival stands for. As well as the twisted idea of making home brewed coffee because a certain someone downed the last of it. I just give it the root brew title; they actually reference it as chicory coffee in the manual. I acquired from a long forgotten source they you could add dandelion. It's all still some rough stuff. Yes it really will eat the heck out of some paint. So will coffee if you brew it strong enough. grins

I realize in the real world of camping you don't dump scraps raw or cooked otherwise back into any form of water. I assure, I have been camping. You also don't bury it. You burn it. But in this case to make things work out the raw bits of fish was disposed of back into the water way down stream. Just read the story you will understand. I also did not go into detail on fish cleaning, but if you really wanta know how it's done, I can explain. grin

I also don't advise catching bats. Been there done that, I almost caused a school to get shut down one summer because I didn't know just how dangerous bats could be. My plea I was a young foolish uninformed female teenager, with a point to prove. One that I did quite well apparently. A little BTW read the closing . If wanta know where the bat crops up next.

I also don't advise putting gun powder in a pepper shaker. After all it sounds even to dangerous for me..

Do consider reading and reviewing.

_Enjoy my twisted sense of humor and now on with the story_

Ribbons of orange spilled across the sky, burning through the remnants of night. A thick line of tall seemingly limbless pine trees concealed the entrance to the Ranger retreat camp ground. Sitting comfortably in the center of all the massive wooded acreage was a spring fed lake, impressive in its own right.

For the sake of comfort or dignity restrooms had been installed along with other plumbing luxuries known as clean running water, showerheads and sinks. Hot water was optional only if one of the rangers was feeling generous or the only female member of the team in training was on the warpath.

The waterfront edge had been cleared back, giving the appearance of neatly manicured lawn found only in the richest of neighborhoods. Further on around the lake out on the point stood a firmly constructed T shaped dock. Just off the docks right edge two hunter green flat bottom boats bobbed lazily. Anchored from the left side of the dock was a Coastguard red speed boat and three matching Seadoos.

Snaking its way around the winding narrow dirt road was a large black military styled humvee. Small streams of dust trailed along behind it, waving goodbye to the life the team members of G-Force knew so well. Pulling up to stop gravel slid and crunched under the tires, in protest.

The driver reached across the passengers and opened the door. "Well this is it, boys, I don't go any further."

Princess glared back at the driver. "Excuse me. Not everyone here is a guy."

The driver met her gaze and held it. Unlike their future foes he had no fear of the swan. "Figure of speech, your welcome to take it anyway you wish though."

She huffed sliding from the seat as she heard Tiny, Mark and Jason snickering in the back seat.

"You too, this is far as I drive you." His voice was ominous as he glanced back over his shoulder toward the three youth sitting in the back seat.

"This is a camp for roughing it. Not a hand and foot resort."

Tiny's mouth fell open. Mark took on the wide eyed deer in headlights look. Jason just glared at him as he leaned against his seatbelt.

The driver chuckled. "Might help if you undo your belt first then you can fetch your gear and get on down there to set up."

"What about Keyop?" Princess ask as she was struggling to reach something to pull down from the top of the hummer.

The driver cast his eyes down to the small wad of blanket and boy beside him. Temptation flickered across his eyes. He could easily just give him a shove, he probably would still be rolling by the time he hit the line up of boulders next to the lake.

"Get'm up. He's got to learn what roughing it is all about."

"And let me guess?" It was Jason's smartass voice. "You're going to drive on down there, and you'll have your own private housing, while the rest of us are trying to step up tents. And if we have to go piss. It'll be behind a tree, hmm?"

"G-2. Watch your mouth there is a female present. No, I will not be driving on down. I will be walking on down with you. One more outburst from you like that though, and you will be rolling down to the camp."

Princess looked down blinking. She couldn't believe her ears. Just because she was eleven didn't mean she had no idea what chivalry was when she heard it. Oh she was going to love this.

"You, G-5 get up there and fetch the packs. You, G-3 get in there and wake that drool monkey up. Get him out here and on his feet. He has to learn to pull his weigh too."

The walk down to the camp ground itself had proved to be more than that particular ranger ever cared to discuss with anyone, little lone his superior. But that was alright he didn't believe in getting mad. All the rangers believed in practicing getting even and

Jason's number was up; he just did not know it.

_**LATER:**_

The tents were erected. Well if you could call that erected Cronus thought as he circled the tent belonging to Princess for the fourth time. He understood originally it was suppose to be a small dome tent. Just large enough for her and the drool monkey, what was his name again?

He turned going back over his steps following his circle he had paced out into the grass. Again he shook his head, as he stopped, squatted down looking for an opening. Hell any opening for that matter, no sign of a door self made or built in. Come to think of it? He hadn't noticed any windows either.

His eyes slanted to girl. But he said nothing. She was what eleven going on twelve figuratively. Somehow he didn't see negatively commenting to her would be good for any of the opposite gender especially himself at the present moment. It was just something about female genetics that made them hormonal in a bad kind of way.

"Well?" His voice was shaky as he began.

"Sir! I think you should see this." One of his men called from a short distance away.

_Saved. _Cronus thought as he stood. "Look hon' just see if you can get it in a dome shape, Okay." He had made the motions with his hands and then he was gone, in long strides up the slope to his men.

Jason's eyes were skewering into Princess. "You know he would have ripped your tent down too, if he hadn't been called away."

Mark and Tiny continued reassembling their tents, for the third time while Jason attempted to egg Princess into some sort of fight.

"You're just jealous." Princess leaned in close pursing her lips. "He liked my tent."

Jason smirked. "Yeah he liked your tent alright. He would have liked to known how the hell you got it in that shape to begin with."

Three hours and a bloody nose later, the tents finally stood erect, staked down and livable.

If no one else's satisfaction was met Keyop's was. He lay snoozing in one.

The evening meal was proving to be no better than the rest of the day. The food was slowly being roasted over an open flame. That really wasn't the problem, in fact that was appearing to be the highlight of the day well at least the smell was a highlight.

Cronus quickly decided after leaning in for a closer look while getting a cup of coffee that looks weren't everything. Princess confirmed that very thought with a blood curling screak.

While the four boys weren't screaming blood curling murder or anything there was definite concern sliding like wild fire through them.

"Bats?" Tiny ask, in an entirely too bewildered tone. He even held the little skewer up with the charred little winged creature between his two index fingers.

Mark murmured, "I understand it's about survival, but shouldn't we have stopped at that last service station when Tiny ask."

There was sighs grumbles and even hints that they just throw the kids to the gators. "Can't please them." It was mutually agreed.

Cronus was left to be the peace maker. "No one and nothing goes to the gators, only because they're not any here."

A fact he was somewhat regretting. Why he couldn't possibly imagine. And it certainly couldn't have anything to do with the fact Jason downed the very last cup of coffee in the entire camp.

The skewered little bats turned out to be chicken wings grilled to the brink of a state the youth come to like to think of as the point between starvation and cremation. Cronus had to agree he viewed it as more of a cremation as opposed to safely cooking to prevent food poisoning.

If only he knew bedtime would be have been worse than all the day combine he might have just went ahead and sent troop G-Force packing on back to Anderson. But it had only been the beginning of nightfall when Anderson called to see if any of his future team was still alive.

Yes that should have been Cronus sign then and there. But he wanted to spend a little quality time with his son without appearing to fatherly. All he needed was for his son to know he was still alive. Later Cronus would be thinking death might not be such bad thing after all.

_**Bedtime:**_

The perimeter was secure, the weather was actually looking good and the kids were off to bed. He and his men were just starting to settle down for the night when all hell broke loose for what seemed like the sixth time. And to think this was just day one. What had he got himself into; better question yet was why had he let himself get into this?

What was that speech he had only that morning given them? The very one the armed forces taught all their men. S-U-R-V-I-V-A-L

**_S_**ize up the situation

**_U_**ndue haste makes waste

**_R_**emember where you are

**_V_**anquish fear and panic

**_I_**mprovise

**_V_**alue living

**_A_**ct like the natives

**_L_**earn basic skills

Damn the things that would come back and bite him in the ass.

Keyop's scream cut through the night, from the latrines followed by Princess's voice. "Do something." Then there was more voices and laughter. A quick head check showed the other three boys were definitely putting to good use some of his survival tips.

In fact depending on how you wanted to look at it, they had used almost all the tips though not the way he had meant. They most certainly had sized up their situation and instead of vanquishing fear and panic, they were causing it. It was also apparent they weren't valuing living. They were certainly acting like the natives, wasting no time, and they definitely had been improvising.

But things never cease there. Do they ever.

Everyone was finally bedded down for the night after the hostile latrine takeover had been resolved. Sleep was just taking over, when more screams ripped through the night like rapidly fired shots.

Again it was Keyop and Princess screaming…in their tent and speaking of the tent.

Damn had it taken on a life of its own? It was thrashing, twitching, jerking around, spasmodically.

A closer inspection along with a quick unzipping revealed a poor bat scared shitless and just grateful for any form of release even if it meant its own death. It would have preferred it been the humans but at that moment, it didn't appear to oppose its own death, for it fell dead at the Rangers feet.

Princess hadn't cared that the hideous snubbed nosed rat with wings had just fallen dead. She refused to sleep in her tent the rest of the night, which meant one thing. All the other G-Force troopers were suddenly dead to the world asleep. Imagine that?

No amount of reassurance or coaxing was going to put her back in that tent. She also made it quite clear Keyop was not going to sleep in there either. As if anyone would sleep in there now. There wasn't much left in the way of a standing tent. In the end Cronus had relinquished his claim to a decently assembled willow shelter.

He was left to ponder as he stared up into the nights celestial body if Princess opinion of just having a different tent would make a bit of difference if she found out Keyop took the bat with them? Well just maybe it would be morning before that bridge had to be burnt.

_**Day Two:**_

At least the cool evening breeze promised to make the night bearable. Assuming the five mischievous brats weren't still feeling their oats. Cronus sat on the edge of a boulder deep in a heated conversation with Anderson, running down the details from the night before and then the days events.

It was Andersons turn, to speak. "So you made them hike up the terrain five miles then run down in it full gear. And you thought it would have taken some of the fire from them. Instead it only made them that much more eager to get up to and into trouble?"

Cronus exhaled sharply as he watched a very soaked, incredible pissed young Princess storm pass him headed towards the latrines.

"Aw shit." Cronus groaned. "There's a storm brewing."

From Andersons end Cronus heard the keyboard tabbing and then papers shuffling.

"There are no storms showing on radar."

"No this one is still too small to be picked up on radar." Cronus replied, as he turned in time to see the latrine doors slam shut and watched one of his men express bewilderment.

**_Anderson:_ **"Matt are you still there? What was that sound? It sounded like an explosion, Matt."

_**Cronus:**_ "That was the storm I was just talking about, yeah it just exploded."

_**Anderson:**_ "Huh?"

_**Cronus:**_ "Princess. Let's just put it this way. Potential Murder Suspect, if this is not quickly defused."

_**Anderson:**_ silence from Andersons end If anyone knew a woman's mood swings Cronus should. He after all was briefly married.

_**Cronus:**_ "Look I have to go but just so you know. The only ones showing ill effects here are my men. They are deadly assassins, hit men. Not baby sitters. And now if you will excuse me I need to go, defuse the bomb. Before she detonates again."

Cronus looked at his second who began. "Water balloons filled with murky algae water. And ah sir doesn't Potential Murder Suspect, mean."

Cronus took up his cup of what the men like to call root brew or chicory / dandelion coffee. Taking a swig of it he replied. "A solid week of the worst hell we will ever go through."

"Permission to return to the front lines of battle sir."

"Denied." Cronus replied as he gulped the last bitter swallow of the brew.

As the night passed on things hadn't improved in fact it was well beyond midnight before they ever finally settled the second latrine take over.

In the days following he had as of yet to figure out where the boys got the water balloons from. He had even had remnants of the destroyed balloons examined to make sure they were indeed water balloons and not something else. It wouldn't have surprised him if it had been something else. Right now nothing would surprise him.

_**Final Day: Getting Even**_

For the past six days Princess had been slimed, teased, tormented and all around made fun of. She had succeeded in catching the coffee pot full of water on fire. Something in many years of service with many men under him Cronus had never seen. And he had seen guys that couldn't boil water if it meant life or death.

But a flaming coffee pot and exploding eggs would only prove to be minor amusement compared to the ultimate form of revenge on the boys. Matter of fact he kind of thought perchance some of his Rangers, perhaps Maelstrom had put gun powder in the peppershaker. Then he had put Princess up to storming off before she got volunteered to cook the eggs for the boys. So it was Jason who wore half fried egg, when he peppered it.

It had been hard for Cronus to keep a straight face, in the case of yolk streaming off Jason's shoulder. He decided for health reasons to skip that breakfast. To add to already building amusement Princess conveniently decided to hold up in the bathroom, during the time span it took Jason to calm down and clean up. It was even more interesting that for a change none of the Rangers tried to coax her out.

In the end Princess would get the ultimate revenge. Day in and day out she had been volunteered to, cook, clean, wash dishes empty scarps. It was during this time she devised vengeance that made even Cronus finest lot of pranksters stand up, salute her and then applaud.

Each day they had eaten freshly caught fish. Of course there was cleaning involved as well disposal. To dispose of entrails and the blood they had simply dumped it back into the water well away from any prime swimming holes. It was at the third day cleaning and disposal that Princess had went with one of the Rangers to empty the scraps. She watched with great interest as the spot of water suddenly come alive, teaming with probably hundreds of hungry mouths.

Noticing her awestruck stance Maelstrom had ask her if she was alright. She had proceeded to say she was fine and then she began asking questions. Including could all those fish eat people alive.

Maelstrom chuckled and lit a cigarette, before settling down on a rock to watch the frenzy.

"Nah, maybe scare the hell..I mean heck out of someone, but eat them alive. No." He scoffed.

He thought Princess eyes widen at his swearing. But she said nothing about that instead she turned to ask more questions about the fish.

"Will they attack anything that hits the water?"

The corner of Maelstrom mouth attempted to curl up into a smile. But he fought the urge.

"Don't know. Let's see."

He picked up a pebble, hefting its weigh in his hand. "You want to throw it?" He offered it to her, but she didn't take it.

"Suit yourself." He shrugged giving it a toss.

The rock landed with a light plop, and then sent out ringlets. At first nothing happened, but then suddenly from the dark muddy water a large gaping mouth sprang up, inhaling the pebble.

Princess screamed and dove for cover behind Maelstrom, who let out a string of swears. His cigarette fell from his mouth and landed somewhere he hoped in the dirt.

"Damn now that is a fish to appreciate. Bet it weighs fifty pounds and it is at least as big as that snot monkey, I mean your little brother." He only changed last part because she was glaring at him now.

"Does that mean you want to catch it? She ask, her face was down cast, but her eyes peered up at him.

"Well." He replied when he thought he saw hints of tears forming in the corners of her eyes he stopped.

Not wanting to upset her, he dropped to down to one knee. "Ok look kid. Make you a deal. You say nothing of my swearing, and I'll leave the da-..darn fish alone ok?"

All smiles Princess grinned grabbing him around the neck. "You got a deal. But I don't know what you so worried about the swearing for. I've heard it all, in at least three different languages, and I bet Jason knows more than you do. "

He just groaned, looking back over his shoulder to where big mouth bass was rolling to tease him, as she let go and started back down the path.

"Oh, sir, by the way." She paused. "Pots on fire."

He turned and uttered bite off a "Sona." While tossing dirt and rock into the licking flames and grease. He half debated going back and burying the pot, but then he thought better of it. Cronus would never let him hear the end of it.

That had been part of the third day misadventures, it also began an every night ritual of Princess needling any and all the Rangers for horror stories involving fish or fishing. She actually preferred to hear about sharks, but she would settle for tales of the deadly barracuda and piranha that Cronus men told her.

In the end she had gotten the ultimate revenge by having five ropes over hang the feeding hole where scraps had been tossed out everyday until the evening and morning before they were to leave. She'd made very sure the boys heard about that fantastic swimming hole and how it had not one but five ropes overlooking it. She never failed to mention how clean it was and how deep the water was or how warm it was. But what she didn't mention was the fact that it was teaming with possibly hundreds if not thousands of hungry mouths. Of course Maelstrom had assured her the fish wouldn't hurt them, so she let that tidbit be forgotten.

It had been no more than 15 minutes after Cronus dismissed them to go swim when he heard the boys shouting, panicking and all around thrashing in the water. A quick check revealed a feeding frenzy or in this case an attempt, as fish were trying to feed on the four boys as they were trying to get out. Today Mother Nature played into Princess hands with algae covered rocks leading up the only safely sloping area to climb out of. So in the end the boys were stuck either to swim back down river or surrender to Princess.

They took their chances swimming back down river amongst the fish and leeches. Even though Keyop thoroughly protested it, as did Tiny and Mark by the time they reached the docks. And all this come about because they let Jason talk them into it.

_**EPILOUGE:**_

The boys survived the swarming fish, with harmless nibbles. Though they were somewhat frighten especially when the fish seem to home in on their toes or swim up their trunks. The de-leeching proved to be a little more interesting seeing Keyop had two on his cheek. Probably not the first set your thinking of either.

Jason came out with one on his leg, one on his thigh and another clinging to his neck. A fitting place Princess thought.

Mark on the other hand had two on his shoulder. And Tiny had two one on his big toe the other on his chest. We'll not bother detailing where.

The Rangers survived the survival outing with the young members of G-Force. In fact they come away with a new appreciation for female team members. They all appreciated the fact that they did not have a female member. They agreed that was the worst hell possibly inflicted on man kind. Though females were beautiful, they would just view and appreciate them from a distance or in a situation where they could at least get away from them. Unlike what Mark appeared to be setting himself up for, a few years down the road.

_**CLOSING:**_

"By the way Sir. The boys found a hornet's nest."

Cronus held a hand up. "I don't want to hear another word. Their soon to be Andersons problem again, he should be getting here any time. "

"Ahm Colonel sir. The other boys." Maelstrom paused flipping through a folder. "The twins, Heckyl and Jeckyl."

There is a long pause then a groan from the Colonel.

"And the bat Colonel, Sir. It's in the Humvee, looking for a way out."

_**FINALE**_


End file.
